Thursday, January 28, 2010

The goal

Sometimes na write pasal personal life jugak kan. (konon2 blog dah transfer jadik ilmiah tak nak tulis pasal personal kan). Lagi a few days je genaplah sebulan being hired by Exxon. How do I feel? biasa je. In a month I hvent start any task yet, cuma training to get use with the system/software lah. Yesterday my team lead said Im gonna start my task this Feb. Good luck huh?. Thanks.Ive been waiting for so long. Maybe I could share something about Exxonmobil bcz who knows, someone need some infos on that. 1 month i guess isnt enough to elaborate my working experience in Exxon but I could roughly explain about it. Exxonmobile that based in the heart of KL is actually the support centre for Exxonmobil. So, most of the IT task here are basically giving services to Exxonmobil staff. Exxon is a place where you will be exposed to different kind of task. If you plan to get focus on something say like programming, then Exxon wont meet your dream. In the end, you gonna have diff type of experience and ability.

They dont highlight your position too much. We're not like any other companies with so many different position level. There are only team, team lead, manager and thats it. If someone said that he is a supervisor at Exxon, his position level might be as the same as manager in other companies. That's good I think, because there wont be too much gap kan.We address people by name even tho his position level is vice president. Cool huh? So there wont be any issue like some people yang too concern about pangkat 'kak' 'puan' bla bla bla. Get it? Not too much tense lah i think except for the work load. Ini standard la mana2 pun kan. Thats it i guess.

I had just been transfered to EAME team where my working hours start at 3pm and end at 12 midnight. For the mean time, sementara nk dpt kereta, my dad gonna pick me up setiap hari. Im feeling very guilty bcz I had burden him. Tgh2 mlm kene pick up her daughter ni dari kerja sedangkan he gonna work the next day. Pergi kerja pun mummy got to send me to the bus stop (jauh). Can you see how hard they tried to help me out?Serius I cakap, they meant everything to me. Besar amat pengorbanan diorang. Thats one of the reason I dont want to let them down anymore. I think perkara terbesar that I have let them down down giler was during my SPM. I x get straight A's and I noe that they were dissapointed even tho they dont show it. They just wanna be very supportive.

And bcz of that jugak, I set up a plan for my life and Im trying hard to work it out. As I grow up, many things that come to my mind. I focus more on my job, on my dream. Thats where some friends started to say that I have changed. Im not trying to be someone else and Im just being who I am suppose to be which is myself. Im still that happy go lucky and cheerful and a funny friend. When I meet my bff or when I meet my siblings of batch20, they still recognised me. I had never dissapear. I am still there, I am still here.

And because of the responsibilities, the dreams, the willing to find the right path to get Allah's blessing that change who I am. I become more clear of what I need to do and of what I have ever wanted to. Because of that, I wish that he will be clear about me, I wish that he will be clear to the reason of every single things that I did, I wish he'll be clear that how I wish I want to save the relationship, I wish he'll be clear how everything wont happened if he stood still and doing nothing and I wish he'll be clear how I hope that I cant wait any longer and how I hope I cud give him more and more chances to be taken and the wish will always be a bunch of wishes that wont happened if I x tegas dengan diri sendiri.It wont happened if I was always be there by your side and I keep saying it again and again to you.I noe you gonna hate it.It wont be happened if I push you so hard to understand how I feel. It wont be happened dear if you wouldnt want to change. And that is why I need to back off and to stay away from this. Its so hard to do this but its even harder if I dont.

Allah sudah merancang yang terbaik untuk kita dan bersangka baiklah pada Allah swt.

Bersabarlah (hai Muhammad) dan tiadalah kesabaranmu itu melainkan dengan pertolongan Allah dan janganlah kamu bersedih hati terhadap (kekafiran) mereka dan janganlah kamu bersempit dada terhadap apa yang mereka tipu dayakan. QS. an-Nahl (16) : 127

And endure you patiently (O Muhammad SAW), your patience is not but from Allah. And grieve not over them (polytheists and pagans, etc.), and be not distressed because of what they plot.